84. fire on fire
that was some good work. that was some great work. that was some excellent work.
because the feeling vibrates from the very marrow of the bone.
what's the feeling, you ask? well i'll tell you what the feeling is. it's a funny feeling. it's a funny, wistful, shy feeling of never wanting to graduate and move on, yet eager to jump into the next blistering ring of fire and, truth be told, move on. it's that devastating space between happy and sad. happy sad. it's that unabashed beaming pride that comes from becoming a magnet, conducting a field of electricity and particles and waves racing, pausing, circling, dancing in the air. connecting, disconnecting, dousing fire on fire.
i don't know what the future will be, how it will unfold. i really don't. i have all this knowledge amassed from textbooks, flashcards, diagrams, and laboratories. 100 grand a year worth of bookish knowledge. and no, i do not know what the future will bring. that's the one thing i know for sure.
but i'll tell you this. that was fucking amazing. that experience, being in this, this period of a pterodactyl tending to her eggs, it was mindblowingly precious. and it just makes me wonder. what is it like to get fucked your brains out?