10. AM writer
i've become an AM writer without me even realizing. and i like it.
i'm strangely happy with my life. why is that weird to say? well, i spend a good amount of my waking day in lament world. in the blues. feeling desire, chasing it, returning to emptiness and sadness. being anxious, caught up in thoughts about worlds that don't exist, events outside reality. so when i sit down and really feel what i'm feeling, it surprises me that i'm actually quite happy with myself. i'm doing fine. i'm well. i'm alive.
i came across a reel of someone doing a street interview with beck from victorious. or rather, i should say avan jogia. the interviewer asked him if he had the chance to hang out with his younger self, would he? he answered yes. that made me wonder. would i want to hang out with my younger self?
and i thought for a second. a good long second. i put down my devices and sat in my chair. a lot of different thoughts and scenarios surfaced, each racing the speed of light. my gut answer? no. no, i would not want to. at least right now, i wouldn't.
and i realize, that's ok.
wanduffle