9. fuck this shit i'm leaving
that's what i said after the first rehearsal of high school musical in eighth grade. maybe it was the second. point is, i didn't last a week. the point is, i was cast as a thespian. and i have nothing against thespians, but i am no background extra in this musical. this kid with a mole on his nose named sean lee played troy bolton. fuck this shit i'm leaving.
why don't i let myself say that nowadays? it shouldn't take that long to realize. it's just a gut feeling. i feel like i was born to listen to my gut. so fuck this shit, i'm leaving.
leaving old ways, old notions, old beliefs, old habits. keeping just the things i need right now -- the essentials. that's the good part about being a writer -- you're always recording. life is vast and long and slower. there's always stuff to draw from, including the old things you set aside for the time being. the bad part? it's torture, baby.
so fuck this shit, i'm leaving.
wanduffle